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Showing posts from March, 2026

HMS Britain and the Art of Permanent Delay

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  Full Steam Ahead (Eventually): HMS Britain and the Art of Permanent Delay Version 17 – Final FINAL (Approved) - honestly Somewhere off the British coast, HMS Dragon is preparing valiantly to defend the realm — just as soon as the paperwork clears, the spare parts arrive, and the Wi‑Fi stops dropping out of the command centre. In other words, it is perfectly aligned with the rest of the British state: technically afloat, theoretically functional, and practically waiting for someone to sign off “Version 17 – Final FINAL (Approved)”. The chaos over Dragon’s deployment has become the neatest metaphor for the UK economy and its leadership. Both are, on paper, operational. Both, in practice, spend most of their time in “temporary delay pending further review”. The Navy blames logistics. The Treasury blames “global headwinds”. Ministers blame “uncertainty” — that useful fog that obscures the fact that no one can remember who was supposed to do what, or by when. We are governed by people...

Full Steam Ahead (Eventually): HMS Britain and the Art of Permanent Delay

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  Full Steam Ahead (Eventually): HMS Britain and the Art of Permanent Delay Ready Steady - wait Somewhere off the British coast, HMS  Dragon  is preparing valiantly to defend the realm — just as soon as the paperwork clears, the spare parts arrive, and the Wi‑Fi stops dropping out of the command centre. It’s a stirring symbol of modern Britain: technically afloat, theoretically functional, but mostly waiting on a procurement update. The chaos over  Dragon ’s deployment has become the perfect metaphor for the UK economy — both are theoretically operational, but only between maintenance cycles. The Navy blames logistics. The Treasury blames “global headwinds.” Somewhere, a minister cheerfully insists that everything is actually “ahead of schedule.” Compared to what, no one quite knows. Just like the frigate, the economy keeps circling the harbour. Unemployment creeps up, wage growth slows to a dignified crawl, and GDP sits at 0.1%, politely refusing to move until someo...

Britain’s Economic “Soft Landing”: Now Available as a Crash Landing Simulator

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  The Soft Landing, Reconsidered Britain’s economy teeters gracefully between stagnation and mild despair. The United Kingdom has once again proven its exceptional talent for redefining economic mediocrity as strategic success. Unemployment has risen to 5.2%—its highest level in five years—signalling what officials might describe as a “rebalancing” of the labour market. In plain English, that means firms have stopped hoarding staff and started letting them go. Payroll employment has fallen by 121,000 year-on-year, a figure that would alarm most advanced economies but elicits in Britain only a calm nod and the familiar assurance that “a soft landing remains achievable.” The landing is indeed soft—if one’s benchmark for turbulence is the 2008 crash. Wage growth, too, has decided to participate in the national slowdown. Private-sector pay rose just 3.4% in the final quarter of 2025, the slowest pace in half a decade. This is, in theory, good news for the Bank of England, which has spe...